If you can't love another, love yourself...

This week I stopped.

I had a Sunday Monday, and continued in that vein the rest of the week.

I’d planned a complete rest day on Sunday, yet was offered a place at a healing fair and took it, late on Saturday evening.

"Take your own medicine, Caroline,” I thought after I’d hit the reply to say yes.

Shit.

I went. Because I don't like to let anyone down.

But I wasn’t all there. And my table was placed behind the others, like, I wasn’t there too.

When will I learn?!? I asked myself on the way home.

Knowing that I’m a soul with a body, a part of me believes I shouldn’t get tired: I’m here on a mission, and I’m going to do it.

And as soon as I think that, and can feel the arrogance of it, I think of “Anna, Grandmother of Jesus”, and the very clear passages of Jesus and his beloved Mary (or Miriam, to be more accurate), taking retreats, to recharge, rest and recalibrate.

Do I really think I’m more masterful than them?!

*Cue face plant*

So this week, I stopped.

Well, maybe not entirely, but I certainly didn’t do too much “out there”.

I hunkered down, watched some of my favourite period dramas, ate ice cream and pondered how best to finish my Angelic Vortex Healing course manual.

I’ve heard a message many times when I'm tired:

“If you can’t love another, love yourself”

And to be honest, we all have, in one way or other.

But how does that show up?

It shows up for me when I have no “go” for my creations or passions.

I love dancing, but have no steam or drive to go anywhere to dance with friends.

I love to offer coaching, but I have no drive to advertise for new clients.

I love to organise wellbeing fairs, but I can’t be bothered to find another venue just now. .

I love going to wellbeing fairs, but I don’t want to organise any more right now. .

This year has already seen me organise 4 fairs, attend numerous ones myself, offer free talks at most of them, begin Ecstatic Awakening Dance sessions, publish my first solo book, and be part of two collaborative ones (The Magdalene Oracle and The Intuitive's Oracle), finish my Coming to Peace PDFs, (something I wanted to pop onto my website for a long time), and, then wondered why I hit a wall!

Isn't that enough?!   

Of course, it is!

Yet another part of me is urged on by my long to-do list, wanting to complete enough of these part finished jobs, using the 9-year energy to spur me on, so I can get into the world and share these projects.

Yet, when I’ve not rested and haven't allow enough time to recalibrate, I’m flat. I have nothing to give.

And I know I haven’t listened to my inner child nearly enough.

This week was one of those weeks.

I wanted to quit everything.

I couldn’t see a way forward.

And then I remembered....Through, not around.

I accepted the parts who want to hide.

I accepted the parts who just wanted to shut the world out.

I accepted the parts who were terrified of being seen and wanted to shut it all out.

And guess what?

Funnily enough, today I feel a bit more me.

A little bit more drive and motivation.

The clouds are passing by, and despite the rain from Storm Amy, the light is coming back.

Do you know the feeling? Do you keep going and going, or do you know when to stop?

What do you do in those moments?

Rest? Watch something? Go into nature? Sleep? Take a salt bath?

What is your favourite way to recharge?

If you want some ideas, go to openlotuslivingl.com/resources and find the PDF for "Self care tips" and see what floats your boat.

Sometimes the simplest are the best, and sometimes, there's just something we know that scratches the itch and brings us back to centre. And it might be Vipassana meditation for an hour, and I know how good that is, or it might just be chatting to your bestie!

I want to say, for myself, calling in a Soul Alignment Vortex is one of my best reset buttons, but when my child parts kick in, there is no wiping them out. There is only going within, creating a safe space, and giving them time so I can hear them and they are seen. Exactly as I do with my clients if needed.

And that is what I did.

Love yourself, when you can’t love another.

I was going to do my video blog on this theme and this morning realised, it’s so important, I was going to write about it too. For myself, and for anyone else who needs reminding.

We are allowed to receive love as well as give it.

We are allowed down time, despite the chaos of the world and a million people we’d love to help.

It’s a cliche, but it’s so true: you can’t give from an empty cup.

And if we don’t listen to our needs, the universe will find a way to stop us.

What will you do if you’re feeling like a rest? Let me know, I’d love to hear how you fill your cup!

So much love to you,

Caroline