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Am I a mystic, religious or spiritual? Or all three! How about you?

These words came to me today and the blog theme was there, on my lap.


In my life, I’ve experienced many different “selves”. No, I’m not crazy. A normal result of a weird world with so many paths to follow, and so many choices. Trying on hats and seeing which to keep is quite a normal part of our “finding out” process.


And I’ve experienced myself trying on all three of these spiritual hats. I might add, more often than not, often not aware that these part of me were kicking in, and quite what they meant at the time. They are like personas, because that is all they can ever be, for our true nature is far beyond any of these labels.

Yet, they have each had their part in my life, for better and for worse, and I want to call them out!


My inner mystic


My mystic self has had real-life (as much as anything mystical can be called real-life) experiences. Profound, life-changing, “never-go-back” type moments.

The first experience I remember was in my primary school playground back in London where I was born and grew up until I was 9.

Time stood still and I had this moment where I KNEW I had a purpose. I felt this understanding that my life wouldn’t look like other people’s: I might not get married, might not have kids, might not get a mortgage and a home, I just had to follow my purpose.


This felt God’s message to me. It felt so clear.


It was a pretty awesome experience, and it kept me going through life. When every shitty experience life has thrown my way, I would say “there’s a purpose behind this”, and would gain as much understanding as possible, trusting that somehow I’d chosen to experience this, for karmic or learning experiences.

On the other hand, it has felt like a burden, something that kept calling me, until now, when I feel more aligned to living on purpose than ever before.


Later on, these moments would include sensing an etheric dragon following me on a run, seeing unicorns running across a field of people (who couldn’t see them), and moments where my guides have been very clear in my sight, bringing understanding or comfort.


Many more moments of entering an altered state have occurred through dance, holding space for Angelic healing, and very often when I’m in nature.


The purpose that was weighing me down and pushing me onwards for so long has unfolded in later years, though I have fought with myself about it many times, feeling like I’ve taken so many complicated routes, only to find out I needed extra learning along the way…

The mystic then, experiences real life moments, first hand moments, of connection with Spirit. It has become my way of life to connect to my guides most days, and my goals are informed by my time in nature and in connection with these supernatural guides, along with my higher self.


The “mystic” aspect of us can be seen as the one who has real-time experiences, singular, unique, revelatory experiences that inform us on our own path, with our own guides. It’s an inner experience, true for us.

Questions to consider

Have you had mystical moments? Have they been of use to you? Have you integrated them into your daily life? Have you made the changes you were inspired to make or are you still waiting for someone to give you permission? ( I know-all about that one!)

If our mystic assists us in accessing the non-physical realms, then my religious aspect has tripped me up, led me to seek comfort and gotten in the way of the mystic more times than I’d like to admit…

My religious zealot


My religious zealot could also be likened to my inner child. She wants comfort, security, clear rules and a clear path. She has chosen a specific moral code, based on my respect and adoration of Jesus when I was growing up, meaning anything I thought He wouldn’t do, then I “should not” do either.


This zealot has been jealous (of those “free” from a strict moral code”), and judgemental (for the same reason). It really has been isolated and isolating, and rigid to boot. Stuck within a pseudo-christian model of living, but feeling not-worthy of God’s love underneath it all. Stuck in a lose-lose situation, neither free to grow and expand my spirituality, nor free to receive the love and protection it was seeking from said religion.


As time has passed, I’ve realised of course, that many of the religious rigidities were informed by parental and teacher control when I was young, and of course cultural rules that we adhere to in order to fit in, and seem “normal” whatever that means. It also comes very strongly with a sense of having belonged to monasteries or convents in other lives, and when I was young I had a yearning for the peace that I felt would come from life in the cloisters. It seemed like home, and yet something was telling me this isn’t quite right.


On the plus side, of course, I have ideals that allude to not harming others if I can possibly help it (Including animals, nature and insects too), being as honest as possible at all times, and being of service to my fellow man.


These, I’ll happily keep, and anyone with half a mind to spirituality or religious thought would not argue these are pretty standard tenets of most religions.


However, the rigidity? I’ll let that go right now thanks.

The ideologies of Christian thinking have meant that I’ve spent way too long denying my other beliefs that are more shamanic, free, multi-dimensional, and most of all, expansive.

Does that shut out my belief of Jesus being a real person? Not at all, it just means I include everything else into the mix too. This includes animal guides, Angelic guides, star- and light-beings, and of course, there still being a Source of all, that we might call God. Though even that word seems fraught with the limitations, stigma and pain linked to twisted humanised interpretations of the great (and pure) teachings of Jesus and other spiritual leaders.


My religious zealot, thank you, and now I let you go with love, to be integrated with all the other aspects of me that keep rigid rules and a tough exterior, defending against attack, the overwhelm of our seemingly infinite choices in life, and enormity of our true reality.


In peace, we are always ok, always can come to peace, and silence, before going back into the world to explore and create and connect. My religious zealot, it’s ok. You’re not alone and you are accepted, AND you can make your own choices in every given moment, AND still respect and admire all religions for their gifts, whilst leaving the dogma at the door.

We humans want safety and conformity, and for a while that will serve us, until it doesn’t.

Is it safe to say, the mystic might create a religion by accident? Is it safe to say, my child who encountered a mystical moment, chose Christianity as a matrix of understanding to interpret my experience, and then got stuck as a result?

I think anything we do religiously, that is, with habit, can be beneficial for a part. But taking on anything else, that we have not truly chosen for good reason, leads towards dogma, and letting someone else dictate our life choices for us. Then, perhaps, religion can take a hike!

I do yoga religiously every morning, and my best days start with yoga in my morning routine. I started this from a book my mum gave me for my 16th birthday. Not because everyone’s doing it right now. I KNOW how good it is, and that’s why I do it.

Does that make me religious?!


Questions to consider:

Have you found yourself tending towards religious habits? Has that helped you? Has that hindered you? Are you able to release that which no longer serves you, but keep the essence of the values, so you can apply these to your every day life?


If our mystic provides direct answers, and our religious self attempts to put a safe path around it, what does my spiritual self say instead?


My spiritual being


My spiritual being has a tendency towards yoga, monastic-type living, simplicity and feels like it’s borne of other lives lived out in monasteries, convents or ashrams. It verges on religious virtue, and yet has more of a mystical feel, and yet still feels trapped. Trapped with “should’s”, and still has too many choices to choose, that are mostly based on OTHER people’s ideas of what it means to be spiritual, and is still not allowing my own true self to come through in any given moment.


My self-claimed label of “spiritual” has, I admit, at times been an escapism for me, a reason to withdraw, and avoid confronting things that have felt challenging (usually social activities and interaction), and a reason to hide from life!

Not good.

And yet, of course, being on a “spiritual” path, likens itself to being on a path of self-development, but one that includes the non-physical as well as the physical. THIS has meaning to me.


Not just because it’s cool these days. But, because for my whole life I’ve known I was not just this body. I had too many knowings, too many ideas and too many feelings about other eras, other realms and other lives that came from beyond my own worldly experience. I KNOW I’m a soul who’s lived as a man, and many other beings, and it is the only truth that makes sense to my inner world.


Does that make me spiritual?


I don’t think so.

I’m more inclined to say I have had knowings, and I continue to seek the truth, and create healthy habits in my life so I can make the most out of it. AND live with purpose.


Perhaps then I can sit with discernment rather than blind faith, and check within what takes priority in my life. AND I get to choose my beliefs and values based on experience, MY experience and how these things assist in my life.


Question time:

Have you felt caught up in the spiritual fervour that is in our midst? Have you benefited? Got caught up and overwhelmed with all the different offerings? Can you discern what is helping you? What you own unique path looks like? Can you check within before taking on yet another spiritual practise, so you can truly make the most out of your time, your day, your life?


Don’t get me wrong, I am ALL for ceremonies, prayer, meditation and yoga. Truly. I live with these every day, light the candle on my alter every day and speak to my guides whenever I need support, encouragement or clarity.


But I’m finally learning that “joining in” and being grounded is something I’ve avoided and covered up with a lot of spiritual and religious shoulds… and I would hate for anyone else to suffer the same fate!


The truth then?


What is the truth for us all? Living beyond perception and accepting “what is”?


No need to change or fix, just live and be, breath and be.


Beyond the mystic, the religious and the spiritual path.


Just being our self. And allowing that self space to breath and to shine!



If you’d like to discuss anything I’ve talked about here, get in touch by email: carolinemaryandrews@hotmail.com

or book a clarity with me here:

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