You may have seen from my recent facebook posts, I just co-create another Wellbeing Fair here in Builth Wells, where I live. I gathered together friends new and old for a day of workshops and demos, craft and healing stalls, with a lovely vintage tea room run by soul-sister Kallika Bruce.
Eeek! Talk about imposter syndrome.
It was a wonderful day and yet a part of me wanted to run away once it was under way, so no-one could ask me anything. I wanted to hide, big time!
But I stayed the course and I'm so happy to be holding more later in the year (June 15th in Hay-on-Wye and Sept 21st in Builth).
The thing is, we get these ideas and we can either follow through, (which can be scary but satisfying), or we let them go, (which can leave us feeling sad and like we’re missing something in our lives!).
This time, I followed through and I'm so glad I did.
Out of all the projects that I’ve been germinating over the last few years, this was the biggest surprise and the one that actually happened! And it was incredible to see a gathering of like-hearted people in one space, meeting, deepening connections, sharing their time with each other, and generally enjoying the day.
How did it come into being??
Tiny. Little. Steps! And lots of them!
As a life coach, I have studied a lot about how to break down our goals, time management, releasing blocks and conflicts and one to the biggest and most important lessons has to be about taking the small steps.
As the saying goes, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time," right?
It’s the same with all our projects in life.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s writing a book, creating a wellbeing fair, or even normal stuff like getting our car MOT’d, we have to take the steps to get there, and our life is a series of many, little steps.
Recently I identified the pattern that I had which has been making these little steps feel insanely challenging. Identifying our patterns is another part of life coaching and self mastery, so we can change our habits, and improve our quality of life by streamlining anything that is, well, holding us back.
“What was the pattern?” you might ask
The feeling that to have to do everything IMMEDIATELY. And not just start, or make a draft, but completely finish it.
Yes. It’s insane. And it makes you FEEL insane when you start something and are not allowing any time to actually drop in to the inspiration, development, creativity.
Let me break it down.
You have an idea. And normally, you let it unfold and take some nice steps, or shelve it for later:
Healthy pattern of inspiration:
*Creative inspiration -> let it percolate -> investigate timeline -> make a decision to do it -. make a plan/ just do it - we take the leap!
My pattern says:
Idea -> It’s not finished -> I’ve failed -> I’m now in danger
My body says:
Anxiety! Panic! Fear! Trouble! STOP!
As you can imagine, “I must get everything perfect first time around and in record speed” is a pretty tough habit to live with, and has caused extreme anxiety and stress in so many ways.
And you know what? I hadn’t realised it was quite a simple pattern that would kick in throughout my day. I used to think it was the individual tasks, or the particular day or task, or my period, or whatever, rather than seeing this actual pattern playing out again and again.
Breaking it down, I can see it stems from my childhood: a feeling that if it’s not perfect, I’m in trouble. No time to amend, or explain, do not pass Jail, just Boom! I’m-in-trouble-land, rejection, telling off and shame.
It sucks!
Until you spot it, release the pattern and the feelings and come back to peace…
My lesson this year, is to love and allow the unfolding of ideas.
To nurture them as you would a plant or small furry animal until it grows and develops shoots, and leaves and fruit, or into the adult furry friend you can take places and enjoy their company, and take tiny little steps every day towards my goals!
10 Tiny steps we can take when we receive inspiration:
1 Receive the inspiration and write it in our journal or future ideas book (yes I have one of these!)
2 Check in - is this for me? (And not just for the world!?).
3. Check in - is this for now, or next year?
4 Develop and explore the creation: dreaming, vision board, writing it out, spider chart, daydreaming.
5 Plan for success and make a to do list for it to unfold: make tiny little steps that are so easy you can’t fail to achieve them!
6 Who can help? Who in my community can help me achieve this?
7 What skills do I need to develop? Make a SWOT list if you need to and see what courses or videos you can watch to skill up.
8 How long do I think it’s going to take? Can I double it to allow a comfortable amount of time for myself?
9 Can I book time for developing the idea in my calendar a little bit every week, or do I need to block book a day, two days?
10 When do I want to complete by? Is this realistic? Enjoyable? Manageable?
Of course each project may have many, many steps in our to-do list and that’s totally ok! Rome wasn’t built in a year, right?
Yet even allowing the space to develop IS a step in itself and if we don’t allow this space, we risk either shelving our ideas completely as it feels too overwhelming, or putting a cake in the oven to bake without all the proper ingredients: and that sucks!
What ideas are you percolating right now? What inspiration feels too big to even start? Have you got a similar “get-it-all-done-at-once” habit?
It’s worth exploring your own habits and seeing where you might be sabotaging yourself without realising - because of course, where there is an underlying fear, there is going to be an edge where something in your stops you moving forwards. This is why I love coaching - a place to explore your edges without judgement and integrate the parts so you can move forwards and live the life that’s calling you.
If you’d like assistance with something in your life and want to see if we’re a good fit, why not sign up for a complementary clarity call with me here and let’s get started.
You can also check out my offerings here, and see how we might work together. If you'd like to share anything about your journey, I’d love to hear your insights, so do reach out via carolinemaryandrews@hotmail.com.
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