Last night I went to bed at about 9.30. and I so needed that early night. It’s been a long time since I went to bed that early…
I turned my phone off, gently blew out my alter candle that burns all day every day, and curled up in bed.
After weeks of struggling to get to bed at a sensible time, I finally faced my feelings. I started tapping (EFT), and unfurled the frustration that had been rising up inside me for a long while, and breathed a sigh of relief when I got to the bottom of it…
I have been desperate to finish my first book, and get it published. The frustration? The rush? Because it felt like I was running out of time.
This might sound like a silly belief, but if you’ve ever faced your deepest beliefs, you’ll know there’s often no real-world explanation, and they usually won’t just get brushed away because they seem silly: you have to face them, and allow them to come out of your system with full compassion for the part of you that held the belief.
What a relief!
After a really restful sleep I woke up at 5.30 and started more tapping around another subject.
I was about to berate myself for the umpteenth time when the guide I was working with stepped in:
“Remember, you’re either healing or creating Caroline”.
BOOM.
Like a lightening bolt, I remember a phrase from A Course in Miracles saying this very thing.
If our natural state is to create, then the antithesis is resting, receiving, or what we might call healing, however that looks for us. Preparing ourselves to go back into our creative state of being.
Over the last few weeks, this growing frustration had led me to have late nights, struggling and pushing myself, leaving me feeling out of shape to say the least.
When I finally gave in last night and hit the sack, it felt like I was giving up, but what I was giving up, was of course, struggle. Finding the root of my frustration and using tapping gave me a voice to face the fears that were lingering under the surface and causing me to feel downright sh@$!
"Remember, you’re either healing or creating Caroline”.
When these words came to me, I was reminded of nature, and the trees I look at from my flat window: there’s a season of growth, a season of harvest, a season of releasing, and a season of rest.
Of course, we are not a tree, but we are allowed to allow ourselves these seasons, and when we do “give in”, or rather allow ourselves the proper time to rest, release and reseed, wow, do things shift.
When we rest, meditate, heal, sleep, we allow ourselves to come back to centre and our productivity, our creativity actually goes up. And usually, we can get more done in less time if we're well rested!
If we keep pushing, we're actually going against our natural flow. For example, I used to be a prolific blogger until I realised I wanted to offer more than just words to people. Since writing the book I’m now editing, the desperation to get it published pushed me to work harder than necessary, leaving me feeling totally whacked and out of shape.
Right now, I’m feeling rested, released, and ready for some seeds to germinate once again and this blog feels like the beginning of a new chapter.
Do I need more rest? YES!
Will I take it? YES!
Am I going to have a power nap after finishing this blog? YES!
Before I finish, I’m inviting you to consider:
Are you resting or creating, or in the flow either side?
Questions to check in with yourself:
Is it feeling challenging to get things finished? If so, are you tired? Do you need some down time?Am I getting enough sleep every night? If not why not?
Am I frustrated at myself for not creating something? What is your underlying fear or belief? Am I allowing time for projects to germinate and percolate? Is there a reason you are rushing?
Do I allow enough down time in my life? How can I invite more balance in my life?
If you’re struggling to let yourself have down time, I invite you to do some introspection: using tapping (EFT) is a great way to explore your underlying motives and beliefs, along with journalling, talking to a friend or a guide (one of my preferred ways), or even a coach (like me!).
When we take some time to ponder, we unpick the subconscious drivers and allow ourselves to come back to peace, and we can move on again with grace and ease instead of being driven by frustration or need.
I hope you’re feeling well rested and have learnt this lesson long ago, but if you need some help to find balance, do reach out to me via email and let’s see if I can hold space for you to explore your edges: carolinemaryandrews@hotmail.com.
For now, be well, whether you’re resting, germinating or in full creation mode!
Blessings,
Caroline x
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